Condescending Caress, Features

I Don’t Care About My Guilty Pleasure For You

For those of you who don’t understand what a “guilty pleasure” is (no judgement but like, where have you been for the past 50 years?), it’s a thing that is generally considered “bad,” but you like anyway. A good example would be “Friday” by Rebecca Black.

We so excited to talk about guilty pleasures.”

Because what’s more important than making people feel so bad about the music they actually like so that they’ll eventually believe you have good taste, right?

Also side note: since when did liking Radiohead become an indicator that someone has “good taste”? I have so many questions and so little tolerance for being judged based on what I enjoy. Smh, it’s hard out here to be guiltless.

Anyway, getting back on topic:

I once heard someone say Blink-182 was their guilty pleasure and first of all I was like, “What are you doing feeling guilty about listening to Blink?!” and then I realized that guilty pleasures are bullshit. Why do people have to feel guilty for genuinely liking things?

We all have different tastes and different levels of pretension that lead us to believe we should feel guilty about liking different things. After all, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” as they say. For instance, I personally thought Carly Rae Jepsen’s Emotion was an incredible album, but some people I work with shamed me for liking her music, which apparently is considered inferior or “bad” compared to other types of music. I don’t feel guilty for liking Carly Rae and I don’t think I ever will (granted she doesn’t get embroiled in a major scandal that will disappoint me).

I think I got shamed for liking Carly Rae tonight, but I don’t really care. I’ve got worse problems.”

The need to shame people for having “bad taste” comes from a really insecure place, does it not? At it’s core, it’s a need to assert that the things that you like are good, by making someone feel bad about the things that they like, just because you don’t like them. It’s kind of how people who are insecure about their image judge other people based on what they look like. And I know that’s true, not only because my mom tells me that every time I say something mean, but because the people we consider cool, both in the movies and in real life, are the ones who don’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks. The type who would listen to the Wham! discography on repeat, without thinking twice about putting Spotify on Private Session, and openly sharing that shit to Facebook. Easily mistaken with the “ironic” hipster, who does all of that on purpose to “go against the grain,” the unguilty pleasurer (wrong word choice? Who cares!) truly could not care less about what the commoners are fussing over.

We don’t even have to lie (about the things that we really actually like), it’s always a good time!

A wise man once said:

“I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something, like it. That’s what’s wrong with our generation: that residual punk rock guilt, like, “You’re not supposed to like that. That’s not fucking cool.” Don’t fucking think it’s not cool to like Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” It is cool to like Britney Spears’ “Toxic”! Why the fuck not? Fuck you! That’s who I am, goddamn it! That whole guilty pleasure thing is full of fucking shit.”

Okay that’s an over-referenced Dave Grohl quote, but it’s true. What is a guilty pleasure but a way of self-shaming? Admitting something is a “guilty pleasure” is like saying, “I know I’m not perfect” and that’s kind of ridiculous, don’t you think? To hell with Spotify private session! I’m not going to let my acquaintances make me feel guilty for listening to what I truly want to be hearing, whether it’s Three Days Grace, Forever the Sickest Kids, or Ja Rule on the daily. If it makes me happy, it shouldn’t matter to you peasants anyway.

So in closing, I’d like to share with you some wise words that I heard at an All Time Low/Metro Station/Cobra Starship/Fall Out Boy concert in April ‘09:

I came here to make you dance tonight, I don’t care if I’m a guilty pleasure for you. Shut up, cause we won’t stop. We’re getting down ‘til the sun’s coming up.

Thank you.

May 31, 2016

About Author

Reina Shinohara Reina is a person who just found out she's from the snobbiest city in California. You can find her at a cafe sipping unreasonably priced artisan coffee writing a condescending tweet that will probably stay in her unpublished drafts.

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